


distant summers

by callista_miralni



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6615043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/callista_miralni/pseuds/callista_miralni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>you're so damn far away and I can't bring you back – SasuSaku</p>
            </blockquote>





	distant summers

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to: otouto and roxy

_I'll stop the whole world,_

_I'll stop the whole world_

_from turning into a_ **_monster_ **

_and eating us alive._

_don't you ever wonder_

_how we'd survive?_

_well now that you're gone,_

_the world is ours_

 

“monster” - paramore

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

“He's here.”

 

The simple phrase had more of an effect on her than she realized. 

 

_[lungs breatheconstrictrisefall_ **_exhale_ ** _]_

 

She forced a smile on her lips. 

 

“Why should I care?”

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

_on rainy days you come and find me_

_torturing me throughout the night_

_when the rains starts to_ **_stop_ ** _, you follow_

_slowly, little by little, you will stop as well_

 

“on rainy days” - B2ST

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

_I'm sixteen again and standing in the wings of the school theater stage._

 

The prop hangman's noose slid around her neck, threatening to choke the life out of her. She reached for it in mock terror but the rope was replaced by lean arms and she was left standing there, clutching him instead.

 

_I'm sixteen again and standing in the entryway to my parents' home._

 

The snow fell from the dark clouds and he pressed her against his side for warmth, his hand blazing a trail across her skin. She pressed her cheek into his chest before she walked away.

 

 _I'm sixteen again and so terribly weak to your charm_.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

_Once upon a time, there was you and me._

 

_Now I'm left with a single phrase, a name, and the thoughts of_ **_what if._ **

 

_-_

 

_-_

 

_-_

 

_-_

 

_-_

 

_-_

 

The Lamborghini Muircelago parked in front of the towering glass and steel building in the southern part of Shinjuku. The rumble of the JR subway line a mile west was faint to her ears and she smiled wryly.

 

“How old were we the last time we rode the subway together?"

 

The security guard did a double take when she strode into the lobby. She could not blame him for his surprise—it had been several years since she stepped foot into the building.

 

Not since that day.

 

"Uchiha-kaichou will be pleased to see you," the babbling secretary—another familiar face—informed her. "It's been too long."

 

She returned the greeting with a strained smile.

 

"Yes, it has been."

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

_my_ **_heart_ ** _is paralyzed_

_my head was oversized_

_I'll take the high road like I should._

_you say it's meant to be_

_that it's not you, it's me_

_you're leaving now for my own good_

 

"50 ways to say goodbye" - train

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

He heard the door softly close and the dancer's feet whisper on his carpet. He stiffened. Of all the people to send...

 

"Sakura," her name fell from his lips, almost like a plea.

 

_Don't be a figment of my imagination._

 

Her lips, ruby bright, curved into a reluctant smile.

 

"Sasuke-kun."

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

He should have fought harder, he thought with remorse. He should not have done what his head told him would save this company, his father's legacy to him and his brother. He should have followed his heart and chased after her on that rainy night.

 

His father thought Sasuke was a fool. And foolish he was, living this half-existence and numbly going through the mechanics of breathing.

 

"So I was thinking," his bubbly fiancée Honda Miyuko clapped her hands together. "We should do it in the spring, during _hanami_ season. Zoijoji is beautiful when the _sakura_ bloom."

 

He stiffened at the taboo word. 

 

"I know you don't like hanami because of your allergies, Sasuke-kun, but we'll be inside the hall. So please?"

 

He turned his head away.

 

"Do what you want."

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

"You have to stop him, Sakura-chan."

 

She fanned her hand, hoping to dry her freshly painted nails quicker. 

 

"Now, why would I do that?" She quirked an eyebrow. "Sasuke-kun is more than capable of making his own decisions."

 

Uzumaki Naruto slammed the ivory envelope onto the table in front of her. "You haven't even opened it."

 

Sakura exhaled. "I don't need to. Mikoto-ba already called me. I'm returning to Barcelona that day."

 

" _He's still in love with you!_ "

 

Naruto's furious outburst did not sway her.

 

"He left," Sakura reminded him. "He left me standing in the rain looking like a fool before I had the sense to leave. He told me he would always love me right after he told me he was going to an _omiai_ to save Sharingan Industries."

 

"Yeah, but Sakura-chan-"

 

" _I will not be made a fool of again,_ " Sakura said in a fierce whisper. "And Honda Miyuko deserves your friendship. I will ask you one more time to allow me to uphold my dignity."

 

Jaw rippling, Naruto curtly nodded and left with the slam of the door.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

"Who is she?"

 

The question was innocent and the wide-eyed, curious Miyuko did not mean to incur his anger.

 

The hall was filled with familiar people: colleagues, partners, old friends. Every winter, they gathered to celebrate their bond.

 

The center of attention was not Sasuke or his beautiful, naïve fiancée either. This year, all eyes were on Senjuu Harashima's great-niece who paved the way for Konoha Corporation's European expansion, and who recently returned home to take care of some personal business.

 

He wished she would look at him.

 

"Haruno Sakura," Sasuke answered curtly. "Senjuu Harashima's great-niece."

 

" _Sugoi ne,"_ Miyuko breathed in awe. "I've always wanted to meet her. She's one of my greatest role models. Ne, Sasuke-kun, do you know her? Will you introduce me to her?"

 

Before he had a chance to respond, Miyuko dragged him across the room. When they came to a stop in front of her and his mother in light conversation, Uchiha Mikoto acknowledged them with some surprise.

 

"Sakura-chan," the Uchiha matriarch said cautiously. "May I introduce Honda Miyuko?"

 

With a pang, Sasuke watched as Sakura gave Miyuko a small smile and bowed. The younger woman seemed flustered in her presence.  

 

"Is it true you live in Barcelona now?" Miyuko blurted out.

 

Smiling, Sakura answered that indeed she had made the southern Spanish city her home. 

 

"Barcelona has always been a place I've wanted to visit," Miyuko sighed. "I've been trying to convince Sasuke-kun to pick Spain for our honeymoon but he's adamant about going to Singapore instead."

 

If Sakura was rattled by the revelation, she certainly remained composed. 

 

"Uchiha-kun usually gets his way, so I wouldn't count on being able to convince him otherwise," Sakura said in a light voice. "The next time you have a break from school, you must pay me a visit in Barcelona."

 

Miyuko looked like she was about to faint from her good luck. 

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

_I'm lying here,_

_drowning in my fears,_

_can't take another breath_

_the truth and all that I've known_

_before is now scaring me to death_

_please, unravel me and face my_ **_sins_ **

_will you drive me to insanity?_

_I’m not the one I used to be_

_I'm falling apart_

 

"unravel" - dima lancaster

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

The crowd toasted to their marital bliss but every joyous cry echoed like a death sentence in his ears.

 

Sasuke folded his legs underneath him, hands arranged with quiet dignity in his lap. Only Naruto caught the slight tremble of the sake cup as Sasuke drank from it but his best friend deigned to keep his mouth closed on this solemn occasion. 

 

 _Liar,_ Naruto's blue eyes were sharp across the room. _Liarliarliarliar._

 

If this was marital bliss, Sasuke wanted no part in it.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

The crackling boom of fireworks overhead gave Sakura pause at the base of the stairway to the family's private jet. 

 

"It's not too late," her aunt whispered yet Sakura could hear every pleading word above the noise.

 

Sakura resumed her ascent. "We have an empire to build," Sakura said in a crisp voice, leaving no room for doubts or questions. 

 

Tsunade shook her head but refrained from chastising her broken niece.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

Miyuko chattered about her trip, unpacking her suitcase without regard to his feelings. Sasuke objected to her flying halfway across the world to spend a summer with a woman she barely knew but Naruto cut in and said he would accompany his young wife on her travels. 

 

Naruto, he knew, was not barred from Sakura's vast estate in the foothills just outside Barcelona. Neither was his brother Itachi, who was fond of Sakura since they were children and who permanently resided in Europe to oversee Sharingan Industries European operations. 

 

"Haruno-san knows so many amazing people," Miyuko swooned. "I've never met so many pioneers in their respective fields. It was so much better than the insane parties they throw here where socialites attend simply because their great-grandfather founded some city or another. Ne, Sasuke-kun, what do you think about me doing my doctoral studies in Europe? Itachi-nii said I could stay with him-"

 

She jumped when her husband slammed their bedroom door shut behind him.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

Afternoon tea in the cool shade of the regal hotel across from the university was torture for Sasuke. Naruto entertained his two children, a boy and girl aged five and three, in the island market of _Las Flores de las Rambas_ within sight of their hotel cafe. Itachi bantered with the woman who haunted his thoughts every waking moment since he walked out on her in the rain nearly twelve years ago.

 

"It will be a delight to mentor her through graduate studies," Haruno Sakura was telling her oldest friend. "Miyuko-san is bright and hard-working. Although, I'm not sure how my tenured co-workers will handle the news that their new doctorate industry associate is taking the most promising talent for her own."

 

Itachi shrugged. "What do they expect when Konoha is the one who sponsored her application? I know how these university admissions work, Sakura-chan."

 

Sakura laughed and stirred her tea. 

 

Mikasa yelled for her uncle Itachi to come take a look at this vendor. With a graceful rise from his chair, Itachi went to indulge his niece.

 

"Miyuko will learn much from you," Sasuke said. 

 

"I will look after her well," Sakura promised. 

 

"Do you think-" Sasuke swallowed the ball of emotion in his throat. "Do you think we would have been-"

 

"Stop." The edge in Sakura's voice held a bite he had not heard in a while. "Do not even tread into that territory."

 

The fire in Sasuke's gaze threatened to swallow her whole but Sakura would not _yield_ to this coward in an aristocrat's clothes. 

 

"You don't get to dream," she snarled. "You don't get to ask _what if._ You don't get to lay in bed gasping for air past your tears wondering if you're dreaming of memories or cruel wishes. You don't have a right to any of those things after you left me with our drowned hopes twelve years ago. Do you remember the last thing you said to me before you walked away?"

 

"I fail to see how that relates to the issue at hand."

 

" _Do you remember?"_ Sakura demanded, her voice near hysterics. "Damn it, Sasuke, _do you remember what you said to me?"_

 

People were staring, Sasuke noticed with some resentment. He needed to do some thing about this situation quick before the paparazzi descended. 

 

" _Owari ja nai,_ " Sasuke repeated. "This is not the end."

 

Calm once more, Sakura took another delicate sip of tea. Around them, the whispers tapered off and the patrons resumed their own conversations.

 

"You were wrong, Sasuke." Sakura took another scone and slathered it in cream. "Now it's time for us to write of new beginnings."

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

 

"He never loved her, did he, Naruto-ji?"

 

The question his now nineteen-year-old goddaughter posed had Naruto scrambling for an acceptable answer that would not ruin the idyllic fantasy Mikasa held about their family. 

 

For days, the news reports looped the same story on the horrific explosion in Barcelona at the R&D wing of Sharingan Industries's European headquarters. "An accident," the masses whispered in the streets. A select group murmured "murder" behind closed doors.

 

Naruto smoothed the wayward wisps from Mikasa's face. How like her father she was. 

 

"If he did not love her, Sasuke would not have chased after her," Naruto finally replied. "And yet here we are grieving over our shared loss."

 

Mikasa scoffed. Did Naruto-ji take her for a fool? Her parents had not lived together since her mother moved to Barcelona to complete her doctorate. Every summer, she and her brother Natsume spent their precious break in the immense Uchiha manor on the coast. At fifteen, she was old enough to understand the men her mother kept company with were paramours and trifles to warm her bed all while relishing in the thrill of knowing her brother-in-law slept soundly across the manor, completely ignorant to her infidelity.

 

A familiar flash of petal pink caught Mikasa's eye and Naruto was spared her questions a moment longer. Haruno Sakura, her mother's mentor and closest friend, embraced her weeping grandmother openly, whispering words of comfort into Uchiha Mikoto's ear. 

 

The gears turned even faster in Mikasa's brain. Forensics recovered her mother's iPhone, the screen shattered from the weight borne on the glass, but the device still winked to life after a long recharge. Mikasa hoped to find a incomplete draft of her mother's last message to her explaining the cryptic phrase she received only minutes before the explosion. To her dismay, there was no such message waiting for her in the message thread under her name.

 

 _It was only you_.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

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-

 

_lord have mercy_

_I feel these words of meaning_

_there's some thing to say_

_it brings me down into my_ **_fate_ **

_how many times you leave me lonesome?_

_how can I reach over the mountain of snow?_

 

"insanity love" - sawano hiroyuki

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

If Haruno Sakura was surprised to see her beloved protégé's daughter on the doorstep of her Tokyo condominium she kept purely for business convenience, she said nothing and ushered the young woman into her home.

 

"To what do I owe this pleasure, Mikasa-san?"

 

 "Were you having an affair with my dad?" 

 

The accusation stung and Sakura wanted to laugh at the irony. Uchiha Sasuke was _dead_ yet even from the grave, he still managed to wound her.

 

"What do you know of the relationship between your parents and I?"

 

Still emboldened by the rush of victory, Mikasa answered, "You were my mother's doctorate mentor in Spain and having an affair with my father."

 

Sakura shook her head. "Hardly, stupid girl. I cannot believe Miyuko raised an idiot who jumps to conclusions. The pieces are right before you and yet you've failed to line them up correctly. I have no interest in discussing my private affairs with a judgmental bore."

 

Taken aback by Sakura's harsh assessment, Mikasa blinked away the tears welling up at the corner of her her eyes— _Uchiha eyes,_ her mother often said—and took a deep breath, like Itachi-ji taught her.

 

"Itachi-ji and Naruto-ji both know you," she started to list in a breathy whisper. "My grandmother sobbed on your shoulder. You mentored my mother and became her closest confidante in Spain. You were never in the same room as my father for long but he always asked after your health. My mother's last text message to me read " _it was only you_ " but I think she meant to send it to you because you were the last person other than myself to message her before she died."

 

Sakura regarded her with cool eyes before seating her on the settee and handing her a cup of tea.

 

"Listen close, Mikasa, for I will not discuss this tale with anyone again, nor will I repeat myself."

 

Leaning forward with her elbows on her knees, Mikasa listened, enraptured by the fantastical tale of washed out love, fateful omiais, and distant summers.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

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-

 

Naruto took note of the grim determination in his ward's features. Her eyes glittered too much like Sasuke's did when he was determined to have his way. 

 

"I would not think you would want to step foot in the city where your parents met their death," Naruto said in an even voice. "Do you intend to pass the summer with your uncle?"

 

"Not my uncle," Mikasa said with a defiant toss of her head. "With Haruno-sensei. She said I was welcome to a summer research assistantship."

 

He needed to speak to Sakura as soon as Mikasa was out of his office.

 

"Mikasa, I don't think it is a good idea to stay with Sakura-chan. Even though you spent summers with your mother in Barcelona and you are familiar with Sakura-chan, I don't think a child would be welcome in her busy life."

 

_Least of all, Uchiha Sasuke's daughter._

 

"I am not a child," Mikasa exclaimed. "If your objection has nothing to do with my age and every thing to do with the fact that I am _Uchiha Sasuke's_ daughter, then you have nothing to worry about. _She_ told me every thing after the funeral."

 

Completely bewildered by the sudden turn of events, Naruto demanded to know what Mikasa meant by _every thing_.

 

"Every little thing that ever occurred between my father and Haruno-sensei, I know about," Mikasa repeated with a touch of exasperation. "I know about how they were childhood sweethearts, how Otou-san chose duty over love, how he left Haruno-sensei in the rain the night before his omiai with Okaa-san. I always suspected my parents had a loveless marriage but I could never prove it with those precious few weeks we spent together as a perfect family, despite my mother's frequent affairs. My own mother sent me her dying words but they were meant for Haruno-sensei."

 

The tidbit about Miyuko's final text derailed any plans Naruto was crafting at that moment.

 

"What?"

 

Mikasa whipped out her iPhone and showed him her mother's last message. _It was only you._ To him, the meaning was abundantly clear. Despite his initial misgivings over the naive girl who was to wed his best friend, Naruto did form a friendship with Honda Miyuko and valued her for her refreshing perspectives and disdain for the superficial worries other heiresses their age concerned themselves with. 

 

Miyuko tried to love her husband but girls like her know their worth. If Sasuke would not devote his entire heart to her, then Miyuko would not pay him the same courtesy. Her string of paramours was all in search of the one man who would love only her. While her husband remained physically faithful, she could see the love he held for her own mentor every time he brought their children to Spain.

 

She confessed each of her own insecurities about her marriage and her infidelities to Naruto when he paid his annual visit to review the European branch's finances one year. 

 

"I stay in Spain thinking that one day, he'll look at me the way he looks at Sakura-san. But it's foolish to think so, is it not? He allows me to stay here just for a chance to see _her._ " Miyuko let out a bitter laugh. "Worst of all, I cannot even resent Sakura-san. She is the only honest one in this trio."

 

Back then, Naruto thought it was the wine speaking. Now, he wondered if he saw Miyuko's true feelings then.

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

-

 

All men had a will. From the richest king to the lowliest beggar, men tended to leave a legacy behind them.

 

When Uchiha Mikasa arrived on her doorstep a day early for her summer assistantship bearing a letter with her name written in Sasuke's precise strokes, Sakura prayed that this would be Sasuke's final jab at her misery.

 

 _Sakura—_ the letter began.

 

_Yesterday, I left Miyuko in your care. You became fast friends with my child wife but you're like that with everyone, aren't you? No matter where you go, you always have an easy smile for everyone._

 

_My children won't stop begging for their mother, and I can't bear to look at them and see Miyuko's smile on their faces when their nursemaid hushes them with a rare sweet. What kind of husband have I become? I am even worse than my distant father, who I swore to never become when I had children of my own. No, I am a far worse monster. At least my father wholly loved my mother._

 

_Our conversation yesterday has been on my mind since we parted ways. As always, you are right. I don't have the right to dream, or ask what if, or wonder if my dreams are memories or wishes. But God, I wish I did. I wish I could undo all the mistakes that led us to living two completely separate lives._

 

_You're so damn far away and I can't bring you back. I can't chase after you to Haneda airport, I can't stop your plane from taking off, and I can't beg you to stay. I can't do any of those things, not with a wife who expects me to uphold my marriage vows and two children who chase after each other in the halls. Soon, my children will be old enough to remember those distant summers spent with their mother alone and they will wonder why I never stay. I don't have the right to stay in anyone's life, damned to live in this transient state forever. I can't even hold onto the one person I love more than anyone or anything in the world._

 

_But Sakura, I could never wish the same half-life on you. When you find that one person who completes you in ways I never could, I will pay you the same dignity and respect you showed me in the face of my own nuptials. You deserve to to be happy and loved, to live with no regrets or ghosts haunting your sleep._

 

_This is not the end, Sakura. This is only the beginning._

 

_Love, always—Sasuke_

 

It was only then, with a letter fourteen years old in her hand, that Sakura allowed herself to grieve.

 

"Stupid," she whispered to the pages as if it was Sasuke she was speaking to. "It was only you."


End file.
